CherisHappiness

You and I, will be safe and sound.

2012-01-28T22:21:00.005+08:00

The days been passing faster than I thought it would. In the blink of an eye, it's almost February. Mundane days as it seems, but it goes by like dusk to dawn. To date, life has been kind to me on some days and a real bitch on the others. It suddenly dawned on me that turning 20 this year is no joke, seriously. I feel as though I've got heaps of responsibility on my shoulder now. So there's no time for me to be like who I was last year, all those weaknesses in me has got to go. But I'm happier now, or so I feel. 2011 was a real turning point for me. Yes, there are times when I miss my past and the people that made me... me. Days when I wish I could save moments in time and relieve them later, but life doesn't work this way. I'm stronger now, I will do what I want and whatever it takes to be happy.

I haven't been spending time with the important people in my life as often like used to, I need precise time management. I'm thankful for the people who never left me.

They say best friends are hard to find.

2012-01-28T21:08:00.001+08:00

But I found one, Abdul Razak.

Happy CNY 2012.

2012-01-25T21:17:00.012+08:00

Just a small gathering with the family this year. ☺ #chinesenewyear #festivemood #angbao

The time of my life.

2012-01-07T16:40:00.003+08:00

As I pen down these thoughts of mine... For all the times we've shared together as one, I'm grateful to have you. Waking up next to you, running my fingers along your face, your infuriated expression and exasperation whenever I try so hard to get you out of your deep slumber. How we used to do the silliest and random things together, the times we spend holding each other's world in our hands. The chills running through my body, shivering down my spine with that smile of yours. The suffocating hugs you always give, and all the love we had. Those bickers, teasing and laughter we had, no one can fully comprehend. From barely knowing each other, to becoming everything to me. I never thought that loving someone could be this blissful. Though we never had it easy, with obstacles one after another coming our way; but it's in you I seek comfort and find myself. For the good times and the bad times, you were always there for me. Because of you, I've learnt how to love someone truly. 2011 found me, you. But I hurt the one I loved most. There's no making up, with those angry and unpleasant words hurled at each other, swearing, and cursing. We spend days arguing over the stupidest stuff, instead of improving our relationship. You were right in everything you've said. Just when you want to be someone I'd love more, I destroyed what we had. I only think of myself. I will never be able to be the best you ever had, never. No matter how hard I try, I can never out win others that give you feelings I never could. For the only regret I have in this relationship is not being able to cherish you the right way. To give you the best cause you deserve the world's worth of love.

Two hundred and fifty days together, thanks for loving me far more than I deserve.

Something they won't understand.

2012-01-07T14:26:00.001+08:00

If you ever leave me baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
'Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore.

There's no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin'
Will keep you by my side
Will keep you from walkin' out the door

Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eye will do the same, if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain.
I'll never be your mother's favorite
Your daddy can't even look me in the eye
Oooh if I was in their shoes, I'd be doing the same thing
Sayin there goes my little girl
Walkin' with that troublesome guy

But they're just afraid of something they can't understand

Oooh well little darlin' watch me change their minds
Yeah for you I'll try I'll try I'll try I'll try
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make you mine

Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...

Don't just say, goodbye
Don't just say, goodbye
I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding
If that'll make it right

Cause there'll be no sunlight
If I lose you, baby
There'll be no clear skies
If I lose you, baby
Just like the clouds
My eyes will do the same if you walk away
Everyday it will rain, rain, rain...

Contentment.

2011-12-29T23:55:00.001+08:00

Being able to spend time with them is everything.

2011-12-29T02:10:00.033+08:00

As the title says, being able to spend time with them is everything.

With the mere few hours spent, we had ourselves midnight supper at Holland V's Swensens. After which, chilling, h2ht and monopoly deal at Henderson Waves. Feelin' the breeze at 2am in the morning, with the perfect company is definitely something. Even though we don't really meet (like once in a blue moon) due to our hectic schedule; we are able to spend hours catching up, talking about anything and everything. I kinda like the fact that we don't have to meet daily/weekly to keep our bond going strong. It's in us. Like, we understand and set our after school/work time/off days for each other. It always has been, and always will be stronger in days to come.

Cause, how could I ever leave the only one that holds me down?

2011-12-21T14:49:00.001+08:00

Looking my ugliest at work.

I'm so excited for Christmas and 2012 to happen. Oh well, it's gonna be a brand new year for me. This year has been madness. I went through so much shit, a roller coaster ride full of emotional pain I'd never want to take again. Yes, experience gained and I've learnt a lot. But it just sucks when you're at your lowest and sometimes, you feel as though there's no one to pick you up when you fall. Cause, how many people will truly stand by you when you need someone most? What would you do when you feel nothing's going right and everything's a mess you can't handle?

All in all; never to take things for granted, appreciate/cherish what you've got cause you never know when you might lose it all. Don't judge a book by its cover. Never assume. Keep your chin up and brace yourself if you ever hit bottom. Stay strong through it all. Take chances, trust your feelings and at times, let your guts down to experience thrills. Let go of what makes you unhappy even if it's the hardest thing to do, cause what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Be happy, be yourself. ☺

Sending some love to everyone~ ♥♥♥

Smiling but close to tears.

2011-12-12T08:53:00.001+08:00

I will take things in my stride, and not let you affect me this easily. For proving me wrong. I thought you were different but it turned out that you're just the same like any other. My judgement bad then.

Two zero one one.

2011-12-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

2011 is the year that went by so fast, maybe a little too fast. It's the year your so called friends walks out of your life, and it's the year you realise who the real ones are. It's the year you felt the most pressure to the point where you gave up so many times but you're still learning how to get back up. It's the year you said you were going to accomplish great times you feel like you just wasted time. It's the year you cried over too many pointless things, too many times. It's the year you look back on all the lifetime memories in which you find yourself missing the people in them. But it's also the year you move on, and you realise that that is okay.
— Tumblr

2011-12-09T15:10:00.002+08:00

The best things in life just happens.

2011-12-07T22:11:00.001+08:00

Till we meet again, PJ. ☺

Some days, you will feel sad without knowing why. Like you lost something very precious but forgot what it was. Or like you miss someone you've never met. This, I'm feeling.

And that's when overthinking happens.

2011-12-07T21:30:00.000+08:00

Good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

2011-12-01T19:38:00.007+08:00

It's gonna be a beautiful month. ❄
Happy December, may it be a blessed one to end the year off. ☺

Last Friday night.

2011-12-01T16:35:00.002+08:00

A good way to spend my Friday nights, with the very right ones. It's been awfully long since we've last spent good quality time together. With our hectic schedule and everything one after another piling up, time seems to be against us and never quite enough. But am I glad, we managed to fix up some time just for each other. I love you my babies.

'Cause I never want to lose either of you.

More than words can say.

2011-11-30T23:37:00.000+08:00

What love really is.

2011-11-22T23:22:00.003+08:00

"Feelings and emotions change. It doesn't mean that if you don't feel something for each other anymore, the love is gone. If love were only feelings then there's no such thing as lasting. Love can sometimes turn numb or even may boring. You just have to be patient cause love itself is life. Not all the time you were in for all its happiness. Sometimes you also have to give in to its bitterness but no matter what, as long as you choose and decide to continue. It will be more beautiful."
— ohteenquotes

As long as we got love.

2011-11-20T12:01:00.008+08:00

A date with a special someone on 11/11/11.

Come what may; for better or for worse, for the good and the bad times, for everyday together with you, you've got me. You'll never know how true someone loves you, until you know how true they can love you in your worst and weakest conditions. You are the best I ever had. ♥

Remember how it used to be?

2011-11-17T17:50:00.004+08:00

Spent the first half of my 11/11/11 with these pretty babies.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Someone close to my heart.

2011-11-16T22:37:00.005+08:00

Last Wednesday, 9/11.

Finally seeing Nateong after months, so happy. Missed her like mad.

We spent hours catching up on everything, and it was like never ending.

It's really good having someone you can talk endlessly with, that's her. ♥

Miss you Nat, we should do this more often!

Four years and still counting.

2011-11-09T00:15:00.000+08:00

Suriani Bte Yahya, & Khairiyah Begum - This one's for you. Thanks for being part of me. Despite the fact that we don't always meet up and spend time unlike those good old days we had together, but when we do; nothing changes. 'Cause we can talk about just anything, and everything from random much to whatsoever. I really appreciate and cherish both of you, keep you close to my heart always. Till we meet again, I will miss you. ♥

The test of true friends is when things stay the same despite rare hang outs. These are the ones for keeps.☺

Visual diary of Taiwan.

2011-11-08T21:06:00.000+08:00

Day two.

Day three.

Day four/the night we flew back to Singapore.

Vulnerable.

2011-11-07T03:57:00.000+08:00

What's wrong with me tonight?
You've no clue how much I'm missing you right now.
Been tossing and turning in bed for hours now, yet still wide awake thinking about you.
There's not a need for you to comprehend how much of love I have for you. This you already know.
Are you on the other side, feeling what I'm feeling?

Goodnight love.

Visual diary of Taiwan's trip.

2011-11-06T23:00:00.002+08:00

A proper catch up date with my gorgeous girls, Demi and Jass today. Despite it short, it was really good.

Just reminiscing with the girls makes me miss Taiwan right now so ta-da, how we spent our days there.

Day one.

What's real?

2011-11-01T21:45:00.001+08:00

"Maybe it's not blood bonds that make us a family.
Perhaps it's the people who know our secrets and love us anyway, so we can finally be ourselves."
— Gossip Girl

November, be a good one.

2011-11-01T16:50:00.001+08:00

I don't need many, I just need those that I know I can count on for sure.

Happy halloween.

2011-11-01T16:11:00.001+08:00

Just been so preoccupied with internship, that I almost forgot what it feels like to take a breather.

My life has become a familiar routine. Especially when off days, I'd be too lazy to even move an inch.

Nonetheless, life has been treating me really lovely for the past weeks and hopefully, in the days to come.

Saturday, 29 October was Beary Nice's first year anniversary. So we celebrated it together with Halloween.

Thank god for friendly colleagues that I can totally click with, so internship has been really wonderful to me.

Been having internship for nearly a month now, there's still 16 more weeks to go. I can (and must) score this.

I miss my friends. I miss talking to them everyday. I miss those times we shared together. I fucking miss them.

A thousand miles seems so far away.

2011-10-16T10:09:00.002+08:00

Feelings that came back are feelings that never went away.

2011-10-11T10:41:00.001+08:00

The fact that I miss you, and nothing's gonna change how I feel about you makes everyday so horrible when without you. Most of the times, we get on each others' nerves. We may do the stupidest things to each other, we squabble, we annoy, we say things we don't mean when we're mad but of all; you are the best thing that ever happened in my life.

I love you, MBMA.

Baby, take a chance on me.

2011-09-26T17:35:00.001+08:00

Fruitful weekend with my darlings.
And now, getting ready for Taiwan trip which is in less than a day's time.

This one's for you.

2011-09-20T20:57:00.001+08:00

So what happened last Thursday?

Clique outing with the girls & Seri's 19th surprise birthday celebration.

So we were like rushing the surprise for her.

Cycling @ Pasir Ris park. Hehehehehe.

Last but not least, a birthday surprise for Seri.

Hope you had the time of your life with us today, my dear. ☺

Been so busy for these past few days with; work, family, friends, and life.

Of all, spent my Saturday midnight cycling with Mas, Chelle & Thienesh. I swear it was really incredible. Perhaps, it was cause we practically cycled around Pasir Ris, and then to Tamp and back again. #madtiring but it was worth it all. The feeling of accomplishing such a task was really fuuuuyoh awesome. Unforgettable much?

Que Sera, Sera.

2011-09-14T16:00:00.006+08:00

I had to admit, I was afraid that I'd be judged by many if I make known how I feel about you. But then again, what we've been through together as one for the past months is a daily reminder to me that I'm more than blessed, with you. So who am I to be the one, hiding what we have, for my own selfish reasons? Just because I was afraid to express how I feel about you entirely, just because I'd be judged, just because I was afraid to fall in love with you but I did anyway. For what we have is special. I never thought we would come this far. But now that we have, whatever it takes I'll always make things work. It's gonna be a tough fight, this I know. It's easy to fall in love. But maintaining the relationship and staying faithful is another. Without a doubt, I'm sure there are many that came across couples deeply in love despite being together for years. It's challenging, loving someone yet having to put up with them, their flaws, and everything that comes along together. But love makes it worthwhile. It may not perfect but as long as it's true, that's what matters. For growing up is never easy. Along the way; you meet new people, you lose people, you find yourself changing. Struggle is a part and parcel of life. Without struggle, there is nothing worth living for. Had a lot of moments that didn't last forever. Sometimes, I wish it had. So that I could have a taste of what it feels like. But on the other hand, I wouldn't learn how to appreciate and cherish things even more without these regrets. Regardless what, stay true to yourself and do more of what makes you happy.

So I will wear my heart upon my sleeve.

2011-09-13T18:13:00.001+08:00

"People always think they know other people, but they don't. Not really. I mean, maybe they know things about them, like they won't eat doughnuts or they like action movies or whatever. But they don't know what their friends do in their rooms alone at night or what happened to them when they were kids or if they feel fucked up and sad for no reason at all."
— Tumblr

Time and again, it never comes to an end.

2011-09-10T01:14:00.001+08:00

This overwhelming feelings of sadness, I never thought I would experience again. I'm not ideal, I may have failed sometimes. But everything I do, I always do my utmost best to accomplish what's given. Today, after so long, one of those nights when it all came crashing down right in my face. Tired of trying, putting up with whatever I can take, making do with what's left of me. True that, nothing is ever enough. The more I try, the deeper I fall, the worse I feel.

This is life.

Pfft, I hate staying home.

2011-09-09T15:23:00.002+08:00

Can't wait, 18 more days to Taiwan trip!

Bestfriend.

2011-09-08T22:18:00.001+08:00

Bestfriend:
Someone you can trust with your life who has seen the best and worst of you and will be there whenever you need someone to talk to. There is a balance in the relationship between give and take. You feel so in sync with them that you can comfortably share your innermost feelings and thoughts.

Right now, at this point in time; the one person that comes to my mind is Jass.

Someone who knows can see right through me by my face expression. Someone who I can count on entirely. Someone who cheers me up when I'm at my lowest. Someone who tries her utmost best to understand me. Someone I can relate things to, without hesitation. Someone who makes me smile. Someone who makes me genuinely happy. Someone who doesn't judge me. Someone who always, always give me moral support in whatever I do, whichever decision I make. Someone who cracks me up, just to make me laugh. Someone who comforts me like no other. Someone that never once gave up on me. Someone that never fails to make my day. Someone that assures me that everything's gonna be alright even when my life hit rock-bottom. Someone who stays, despite my eccentric behaviour. Someone who cares for me. Someone who loves me for who I am.

Words are definitely not enough to express how grateful I am to have you in my life, bestfriend.

To infinity and beyond. ∞

Somehow, I'm not ready to move on just yet.

2011-09-08T00:57:00.003+08:00

I've been waiting for today since forever. Just the mere thought of after exams, brightens up my day. But why, a saddening feeling lingers around me now. From today onwards, I won't be able to see those familiar faces like how I used to. Waking up to school, running late for lessons, skipping classes, smuggling food into the lecture theatres, laughing our hearts out together with the girls, annoying moments till one gets pissed and all starts bursting into laughter, disturbing random people. Most of all, I will miss the companion of my girls especially; the thought of what we've been through for the past year will slowly and steadily drift and fade away into past memories will be the hardest to let go of. Soon, everyone will be busy with our own lives. But what we had, are memories that will be etched in our hearts for a lifetime. For being such dear friends, I really appreciate having them even when at the lowest point in my life. What we have is definitely indispensable, and irreplaceable. With all my heart. I'm really glad for this awesome bunch of girls I've made, not to forget my classmates; thanks for making my one and a half years a meaningful one.

Thanks for all the memories made.

Someone special.

2011-08-14T18:23:00.000+08:00

A thought crushed my mind.

2011-08-14T18:07:00.001+08:00

Through the years, I've lost and gained.
Lost many that I thought I would never, and gained closeness with those I didn't imagine I would.
For all that I've lost, I grew stronger from my past, be it good or bad.
For what I've gained; it makes up what I've lost and though it gets harder everyday, I will stay.
"Too often we don't realise what we have till it's gone, too often we're too stubborn to say, 'Sorry, I was wrong.'
Too often it seems we hurt the ones closest to our hearts, and we let the most foolish things tear us apart."
Isn't it true? Cause, we tend to always overlook the things that completes us, we don't contemplate.
Instead, we take things for granted, don't appreciate what we've got till it's gone then we regret...
Many things better left unsaid but how often do you show appreciation to someone you truly care about?
How often do you show them you truly care? Not solely by words as actions speaks louder.
Why? Because talk is cheap, and we're all judged by what we do, not what we say.

I sit by myself.

2011-07-13T23:37:00.006+08:00

With a head full of thoughts, I spent sleepless nights thinking. All in all, all these feelings I've been feeling been far most making up the downest moments of my life. I try not to think so much, be strong, act like I couldn't care less but the more I deceive myself, the worse these feelings comes and goes. Have you ever told yourself, never to make the same mistakes again, but you still do it anyway? Many times, I did but still fail at it. Subconsciousness strikes and there you go, acting on your feelings rather than what's really right for you. It's human nature, it's okay to fall sometimes but when you do, you gotta get back up stronger. Can't afford to repeat those same old mistakes. Life still goes on.

This feeling I never thought I had to experience again.

2011-07-12T19:11:00.001+08:00

Frustrated because I can't tell if it's real.
Mad because I don't know how you feel.
Upset because we can't make it right.
Sad because I need you day and night.
Angry because you won't take my hand.
Aggravated because you don't understand.

A part of me died.

2011-07-10T22:02:00.003+08:00

So I spent my Saturday night, crashing at Rochelle's place. She accompanied me all the way home from hougang (her place) > lakeside (mine to get my stuff) > back to hers. Taking the train back to her place when it's almost midnight from mine. No joke. We had a satisfy-our-cravings shopping and cabbed back to her place cause we missed the last bus. But it was great, spending the night with her watching dramas, heart to heart talks. Come to think of it, it's been so long since we've last spent quality cousin time together.

Anyway, today's definitely not my day. It will get better. *cross fingers*

These feelings of mine, I can't entirely comprehend. But it's killing me inside.

Trust me. Just stay with me, we'll make it through. Hang in there, will you?

I guess it just shows how little do I mean to you.

2011-07-07T21:55:00.001+08:00

Time and time again, I've drilled myself that expectation leads to disappointment so why, am I expecting too much? I'm so pathetic.

Don't you wanna stay?

2011-07-03T13:09:00.000+08:00

Times like this, I never want to forget.

2011-06-19T21:08:00.000+08:00

Town > bugis > shisha @ haji > home

Only with y'all, I've had the time of my life.

There will be tough days ahead, but let's hang in there together. ♥

"All relationships go through rough times. You just have to hang in there. Just hang on in there."

Closer than kin, thicker than blood.

2011-06-19T17:55:00.005+08:00

One last time.

2011-06-14T21:31:00.012+08:00

It's times like this when I feel so alone and worthless, only then I truly find myself in you.

Honestly, how you can make me feel so right despite everything is more than enough for me.
Many times, days without you pass way slower than supposed to and it seems like forever.
But whether rain or shine, you still stay through it all and that's why I'm firming my stand.

I may seem like I don't care, act like a spoilt brat but is only cause I'm afraid to lose it all.
You make me mad, angry, happy, crazy. You make me feel so much I've never, ever before.

Words ain't enough to express. But you ought to know, I'm grateful for having you in my life.
For choosing to stay despite the fact that everyday's gonna get harder in time to come, I love you.

xx

Everything I ever wanted.

2011-05-22T00:45:00.057+08:00

Grateful to have them babygirls in my life. ♥

Every choice I make, everything I do... I disappoint everybody.
"Who gives a fuck what people think, as long as you're happy then nothing else should matter."

Just like the good old days.

2011-05-21T00:18:00.005+08:00

A simple Saturday night date with, Sobbina. ♥

In the end.

2011-05-19T00:57:00.000+08:00

Forget the risk, and take the fall.
If it's meant to be, then it's worth it all.

I miss you.

2011-05-19T00:36:00.002+08:00

Even though we may not get to spend as much time as used to, do know that you've got my heart for you and that you mean the whole wide world to me. This I promise you. Whenever you need a shoulder to lean/cry on, someone to hug you tight, someone to listen to you, someone you can confide in, someone to make you smile, someone that will annoy you just so you'll be fine again, someone to show you that you're not alone, someone that will protect you against all odds, someone that'll always be there for you - that someone can be me. I love you Soh Hui Min, with all my heart I'm dedicating this very post to you my baby sister. ♥

2011-05-16T02:30:00.001+08:00

"I think what hurts the most, is when you give your all to someone. Through thick and thin, you're there for them. You stick with them, no matter what. Then one day, they just give up on you. They won't even fight for you. The one thing you would never have done, they did with no hesitation."

Never knew I needed.

2011-05-14T19:03:00.000+08:00

"There are just certain things in life that are better off unknown.
Things you wished you never asked, never saw, never heard or, never even felt."

Friday the 13th/11:11

2011-05-13T23:11:00.000+08:00

Irreplaceable. ♥

Heartfelt.

2011-05-08T23:55:00.002+08:00

Stay, right here next to me.

2011-04-25T01:41:00.003+08:00

School, work, school, work, school, work, school, work, school, work, school, work, school, work, school, work, school's taking a toll on me. I can't even remember the last time I had some personal time for myself? But so far so good, been sucking it up, making the most out of life instead of lazing around... Anyway, just a little peek on the day out with my darlingirls. Short but sweet day, quality time spent with them both. ♥♥♥

You don't know what it feels like until it happens to you.
Walk a mile in my shoes & try to see things in my perspective for once.

@JanelSoh

2011-03-30T19:05:00.001+08:00

I love you, beautiful girl. ♥

My fucking awesome 19th birthday.

2011-03-29T01:08:00.004+08:00

MY FUCKING AWESOME GIRLS. ♥

The amazing sweethearts who celebrated my birthday for me this very year.

So Dems brought me out for a movie, we watched Red Riding Hood. The movie was so good.

Then, she got me completely convinced that she had to pass Syaz something over at her place.

So we went AND HELL YEAH, THIS GIRLS HAD ME TAKEN ABACK & SURPRISED.

REALLY, REALLY, REALLY FUCKING TOUCHED. (':

Not to forget, S for spending the last few hours of my birthday with me.

Nyehehehehe, I love all of you vely vely vely much.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

And, krqliue celebrated a belated birthday party for me tooz.

Even though the hours spent were short, but the time together is more than enough.

Hours of h2ht-ing, walking through the park, talking bout the good old times.

Years of friendship, still counting on and on and on...
Lastly Minx, for surprising me unexpectedly.

Once again, thank you so much everyone for making my this year an awesome one.

Without you all, I won't be who I am today.

All of you, I keep close to my heart.

XOXO

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

2011-03-29T00:18:00.009+08:00

Part II - Sentosa Day (15/03)

2011-03-22T23:54:00.032+08:00

With all my love. ♥♥♥♥♥

Bestest girlfriends one can ever, ever get.

Part I - Sentosa Day (15/03)

2011-03-22T01:16:00.006+08:00

Will be back to update again, so watch this space. :D

Been trying.

2011-03-16T18:34:00.002+08:00

Been trying to forget the days we spent together.
Been trying to rid how you always make me feel.
Been trying to ignore these feelings within me.
Been trying to think of everything except you.
Been trying to get you off my mind everytime.
Been trying to say I'm better off without you.
Been trying to live everyday like you don't exist.
Been trying to open up my heart to someone else.
Been trying to not love you anymore like I do.
Been trying to fake smiles and laugh so hard.
Been trying to avoid the places we used to go.
Been trying to have as much fun to forget you.
Been trying to make-believe days will get better.
Been trying to let you go but I can't seem to.
Been trying to act like you don't matter anymore.
Been trying to believe what I always tell myself.
Been trying to know you're not the best for me.
Been trying to realise someone can be way better.
Been trying to stay strong just so you know.
Been trying to move on without you anymore.

But at the end of the day, stupid but I still want you.

I'll never forget the way I felt with you beside me.

2011-03-16T18:08:00.005+08:00

Enjoy spending days like this. :B

No reason to stay is a good reason to go.

2011-03-12T14:48:00.014+08:00

"And if all those words you said to me actually meant something,
maybe we wouldn't be standing where we are today."

Before you give up on someone, you've got to remember why you're still holding on.

2011-03-01T22:53:00.002+08:00

A smile can hide so much.

2011-02-26T13:35:00.007+08:00

A day spent @ Holland > Rail Mall > Imm with favourite girl.

Tired of trying, sick of crying.
Yeah I'm smiling, but inside I'm dying.

2011-02-20T11:11:00.002+08:00

"You might regret putting an end to something that once made you smile. You might even cry your eyes out whenever you miss the way it used to be. But remember that time heals almost everything, and the time will come when you’ll no longer cry when you remember it. Instead, you’ll smile and think how better off you are since then."

And, I wonder if I ever cross your mind. For me, it happens all the time

2011-02-19T02:24:00.008+08:00

Am I still expecting too much?

2011-02-17T21:01:00.002+08:00

"I've heard it a million times. "You can do better. You deserve so much more." In reality, you're right. But sometimes when you love, you love the person for who they are despite what they've done wrong to you. That's what love does to you. It's not about who you deserve, it's about who you want, who you need, and who you love."

You have no idea how hard it is to stop thinking about you, sometimes.

2011-02-14T22:37:00.008+08:00

Once again, I'm stuck at a junction. Every turn I make, seems so wrong. The more I quit thinking, everything somehow becomes conscious. I can't seem to find the right words to say, I wish I had someone who understands how it feels. I don't wanna crush myself any longer, I don't wanna feel all these anymore. Ever experienced those fucking, heartfelt feelings that gets you completely, that comes crashing into you every now and then? Or rather, everyday. No matter how much you try to ignore, get it off your mind, it stays. I feel that, every single day. And so, that's the reason why I don't wish to hurt anyone anymore. I've tried letting people in, but I never fail to push them all away awhile after. It's not that I don't care about how they feel, I do. It's not that I wanna let them have a taste of how I felt, not because I'm heartless, ignorant, taking things for granted or whatsoever. And, it's definitely not because I didn't try opening up, accepting. All of these, I've tried. But somehow, my feelings never fails to hold me back. Every fucking single time. I'm still holding on to those memories that I know I'm better off without, I'm still waiting for something that I know prolly won't happen again. I wish I can work off these feelings I'm feeling cause it's slowly killing me inside. Sometimes, there are days when I wish I feel nothing. Nothing at all, completely numbed. But then again, I'd rather feel all hurt than nothing at all. Everyday, those feelings that I've tried so hard to forget the day before comes crashing into me. In quantities, more than ever. Why is it so hard to be happy? Or perhaps, I just don't know what it takes to be happy anymore. I guess I'm better off alone.

In my eyes, you're still everything.

2011-02-13T10:53:00.005+08:00

Over at the party a week back..

I miss you, though I know I shouldn't.

Do you ever feel alone in a crowded room?

2011-02-07T23:00:00.013+08:00

So I guess it's true what they say, the good times never last.
08. Tmw's supposedly our sixth. Cross my heart, I really do miss you.

There's only so much you can do to save a relationship.

2011-02-07T21:00:00.002+08:00

There is only so many ways you can try saving and fixing a friendship and relationship you have with someone else. When you have exhausted all other options, it’s up to them to try save it. And, if they don’t then there isn’t anything else you can do but watch it all fall apart. If you’re the only one fighting to save it, then what’s the point in even trying anymore… when every other time you have fought for them they have let you down?

Hi baby,

2011-02-06T13:41:00.002+08:00

I know you'll most prolly read this (cause you always stalk me blog) hehehe so surprise, hi there baby! Just wanna say how thankful I am to have you in my life, really. You were always here for me, got me going strong, you for me to cry on every single time, hugs to assure me that everything's gonna be just fine cause I have you in my life. Your long longggg texts, I loikeeee. It only goes to show how much thoughts you put in, whenever texting me. Knowing you was a blessing, but having you in my life is more than just blessing. You're irreplaceable, definitely. Just so you know, I wouldn't trade anything in this world for you. I'm always on speed-dial for you, whenever and you should know right? Namajigglejigglesexybaby, thank you so much for everything you've done in my life. Words itself ain't enough to prove what I've said is true so am gonna give you tight hugs every time I see you, to let you know that I really can't do without you in my life. ♥

2011-02-05T23:06:00.001+08:00

Family. ♥

Someone who won't go away.

2011-02-04T13:20:00.006+08:00

Huiminx.
Through the years, we grew closer. And now, closest. No one, nothing can ever tear us apart. This I promise you. Cause, you put up with my endless rants, heartfelt thoughts every single time. I know I can be the most annoying person in this world but still, you love me for who I am. We do random, cute, silly but crazy stuff together. We understand each other better than ourselves. We love with no restrictions. We cry over the smallest things, and hold on even though we both know it's best to let go. You always support my every decision, whether good or bad. You share with me deepest secrets like no other. All in all, we're just plain stupid. Hahaha okay no, we're just sentimental. Forever it shall be, I'm right here by your side. ♥

In days time, you'll be gone. And me? I'd be left alone in this world to crumble.

2011-02-03T00:45:00.003+08:00

"Never play on someone who showed you what love means. Because when it's too late, that's the time you'll realize you've lost something you will never ever have again."

I don't want this moment to end, where everything's nothing without you.

2011-02-02T12:58:00.005+08:00

With each passing day, I will only love you more in time to come.
Loved you once, love you still. Always have, always will.

Cause I told you once, now I told you twice.

2011-01-27T21:31:00.009+08:00

I'm pulling through. No matter how bad these feelings been hitting me real hard for the past days, I ain't gonna let it get the best of me anymore. Just not anymore. I have to try. I have to deal with life as per norm. I'm not moving on, just getting on with life the way it used to be. With or without you, I have to.

Broken promises, hurt, pain and all these feelings you put me through. You don't feel how I feel. Happier without me prolly. Good to know you are all good though it kills me inside. It's killing me inside that you're actually fine, without me. How else can I pretend, that I'm fine when I ain't? I once told myself, as long as you are happy, that's what really matters. Everything you put me through, I make the best out of it. I control those feelings&emotions. No matter how bad times may be, how tough life can get, I will make it through.

You say, everything happens for a reason. What reason was there for this? Tonight, I know. I know the answer. When you love someone, you don't just say you love them. You show them, you prove to them they are worth the fight. You get through life with them, not give up on things halfway. Well, I guess I wasn't worth the fight and that's why, you chose the other way out. But I never told you, what I should have said. No, I never told you. I just held it in. And now, I miss everything about you. Can't believe that I still want you. And, after all the things we've been through, I miss everything about you. Without you.

I'd be lying if I say I don't care. But tonight, I'm ignoring.

Growing relationship isn't determined by how much we have in common but  by how graciously we deal with our differences.

Will you still love me tomorrow?

2011-01-24T20:49:00.003+08:00

A perfect day out with my girrrrl. Yeah wcp for drinkh2hting. Times like this; where we can just pour our hearts out, talk bout everything under the sun, forget everything else that really matters to us even if it's for the moment.

I love you bff'sista. With all my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, for you.
Whatever it takes, we will get through life together.

2011-01-23T10:41:00.002+08:00

"You know what I think hurts the most? The feeling of being replaced. It’s like no matter what you did, it wasn’t enough. And no matter what you do to try and capture their heart again, doesn’t seem to work. And you’re suddenly left thinking that you’ll never be enough. And a sudden sadness captures your heart that never really leaves."

2011-01-05T23:29:00.037+08:00

I think whenever I start being happy, something bad happens. So from now on, I'll just learn how to take one step ahead, one day at a time. Cause whenever we squabble, you never fail to spoil my mood, got my emotions running high&low. Even the slighest thing you say upsets me..though I know, most of what you say when we're both mad don't really mean a thing. Words of anger, harsh, how hostile you can get. I shouldn't take it to heart. Yea, I know I should be stronger. I shouldn't be so dependent on you. But it's times like this that makes me feel&think so much more. It's times like this when I know, no matter what others say, even if it's just you&me against the world will do. As long as it's with you. But at the end of the day, I know you'll still be there..no matter what happens. I really can't imagine if things turned otherwise, will we still be the same like now? Or, different. I can hardly picture a different us anymore. It's gonna be so tough without you around me, like how right now. I pray for the strength & your love to get us by even through life's most difficult times.

So today was a fairly good day, but it was raining again. Yes, again. Everytime, whenever we're out, it almost never fails to rain. Is it just us being together or purely coincidental, the weather? Haha. So anyway, we went to Vivo. Got the tixs for Yogi Bear, afterwhich to adjust the watch's straps, which is looking good on F. now. Like it's bought to fit. Yogi Bear was quite hilarious, with the two adorable bears. Hehehe. Go watch it if you haven't, it's good! Time spent with you is never quite enough. Just looking at you, makes me smile really. :D ♥

But all these faded memories, will always remain.

Two zero one one countdown

2011-01-03T18:40:00.009+08:00

A fwesome way to end off the year 2010, with the very right people.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

For the first time in my life, the fireworks looked so beautiful.
Or perhaps, it was the people whom I spent today with made it memorable.
The ending of the year 2010, beginning of 2011 with 'em. ♥
Memories..last a lifetime.

2011-01-03T04:03:00.117+08:00

A brand new start to the new year. The past days been fwesome, but I don't expect a lot this year.
Shall take things as it is, take one step at a time to get my days swiftly & hopefully, memorably.
In 2010, almost everything was a whole new experience. Through the year, I've really grown up.
I've made friends, I've lost friends too. I grew crazily close to people that I never thought I would.
I've learnt never, ever to take things for granted & to cherish everyone, all of them that are for me.
I've made mistakes, I've learnt from 'em all. I've cried countless times over things that don't matter.
I've been in love. I've found someone to count on, someone to love&cherish, someone that's for me.
I've learnt how to manage my emotions&feelings a whole lot better compared to the previous years.
Basically, 2010 was a year full of ups&downs but guess what? I been through those shit & survived! :D
Well, everything happens for a reason. This I know. I will always try my utmost best to make things work.

This year, 2011, my resolutions are way simpler than before. For I don't want to make resolutions I can't fulfill.

My family to be healthy, & with contentment.
Studies; to gain better understanding, wisdom&knowledge.
Learn how to prioritise my time right, minimise procrastination.
Loved ones to be happy always; to give them more than what I take.
Better anger management; don't let my feelings to get the best of me.
Resolve problems/conflicts in a amicable way, cause nothing is impossible.
Appreciate&cherish everything/everyone around me truly; don't take things for granted.
Be the best girlfriend I can be to Ferdian. It's always been you.
Happiness.
In 2011, I just want to be truly happy with family, friends & lastly, You.

May 2011 be a fwesome good year to all!

2011-01-02T23:11:00.007+08:00

Surprise was awesome. Simple celebration. Fruitful day.

With Safa&Famel's help, everything worked out just well. :D

Weather was a B-I-G spoiler but nonetheless, it was a day to remember.

Happy 19th Birthday Ferd & hope you had the time of your life today! ♥

2011-01-02T12:15:00.003+08:00

"When you have something you really love but it causes you so much problems and pain, it is either God is telling you to leave it or just testing you if you are strong enough to hold it."

Happy new year.

2011-01-01T23:11:00.008+08:00

Hell yeah, I spent my new year countdown with these crazy but fwesome bunch of people. For the year 2010, especially the last half of it, they were the ones that kept me going regardless what happens, & made my 2010 worth remembering in almost every way. We started off strangers, but now I have you all close to my heart. For everything that happened, whether good & bad, we managed to brace ourselves & fight through all together as one. So thank you darlings, love you all dearly. Hehehehehe. 2010 was a great year, with minor setbacks. But setbacks are definitely inevitable. I'm looking forward to a fruitful 2011! :D ♥ :D ♥ :D ♥

2010-12-28T23:58:00.002+08:00

When you're mad at your boyfriend,
then he says something really sweet you just can't help but..

For today, yesterday, tomorrow & everyday that we're together;
All the memories we've shared together, I have it close to my heart.
Though sometimes, we may quarrel over stupid stuff but it never last.
How you can be idiotic but I still love you the same, even more everyday.
How you can make me smile, just by looking at you. How you love me for me.
How you know what the right words to say when I'm mad at you, how you pacify.
In just 5 days time, you'll be 19. 2011 will be another year for us to get through.
But I want you to know, with you for me & me for you; we will make things last.
Just so you know, will never give up on us without a fight regardless what happens.
We will make it through, as long as we have each other. I love you. You're my best, baby.

When you look back on those times we had, I hope you smile.

2010-12-26T23:52:00.002+08:00

2010-12-25T15:38:00.004+08:00

Only when I'm with you, nothing else matters.

2010-12-24T23:58:00.042+08:00

I spent Christmas Eve with my special someone today.
Which makes me a very happy girl. Hehehehehehe.
Caught Lil' Fockers & hell yeah, it was an awesomeeee movie.
You never fail to make me smile at the end of the day, no matter the hours.
HOW TIME FLIES. Unbelieving but 2011 in just 7 days time.

2010-12-23T17:43:00.003+08:00

"Because the truth is, if you love a person; if you truly love them. No matter how bad they hurt you, or how mad they made you, you will always take them back."

2010-12-23T12:15:00.004+08:00

2010-12-21T18:48:00.004+08:00

It's not surprising but I kinda miss school..

"It's sad that you've to go but you had been a wonderful CA to Class LC.

No matter how much shit we put you through, you really stuck with us till the end.

Even though we may be the least 'hardworking' class but you still love us all the same.

You're a wonderful, awesome & loving CA. You were willing to give us your best.

You give what you can without restrictions & so much more, it was our honour to have you.

Even though now, you may no longer be our CA. Still wanna thank you for everything.

Since beginning of school till now, you really taught the class many values on life.

You're really a great role model that we will look up to. Once your student, always will be.

Regardless what, thank you for everything you've done for the class. We love you."

Every 8th.

2010-12-18T18:20:00.005+08:00

"Being with someone doesn’t guarantee happiness. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been alone, how long you’ve hoped, or how long you’ve waited. There’s no such thing as a perfect love story. Heartaches will always be a part of loving. But remember though not perfect, if that love is meant for you, it will stick with you till the end. No matter how tough it gets, no matter how long. Far from perfect but real."
I love you baby.

I think I've the craziest bunch of girls alive.

2010-12-18T17:15:00.005+08:00

So we were halfway completing our project the other day & got restless..

"This world is crazy. All you need is for someone to be crazy with"

2010-12-18T17:01:00.004+08:00

"I want someone who won’t care that I’m incapable of sitting still for more than fifteen minutes, that I can’t grasp the concept of cleaning, and that I refuse to be ‘lady-like’. Someone who can understand that half the decisions that I make are the ones that I regret, and that sometimes I overreact. I want someone who knows me in and out, but would still do absolutely anything to make sure that I’m theirs."

Close2you.

2010-12-18T16:52:00.009+08:00

Few weeks back..

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥